Walnut Creek
Elementary School
Middle School Transition
Middle School Here We Come!
Your child is moving on to middle school! This is the start of a new adventure with new classes, new teachers, and new opportunities to learn and grow. It’s normal for students (and parents!) to feel both excited and a little nervous about what’s ahead. This page is here to help you along the way, with a tool to find your child’s future middle school and information about common worries students may have during this transition.
Find My Middle School!
I'm Nervous!
It’s normal to feel a little nervous about moving to middle school. Many 5th graders wonder what it will be like and have some worries about the change. Here are some of the most common fears students have as they get ready for this transition.
Combination Locks
Worry:
Many a preteen is terrified that they won't be able to get their locker open. As a result, they'll be stuck with no place to put their books, or they won't be able to retrieve needed materials for the next class or at the end of the day.
How to Help:
First, understand that this fear isn't completely unfounded, as students have limited time between classes. Try buying your preteen a combination lock over the summer to practice on, or see if the school will allow them to come try the lockers out before the start of the school year.
Being Late for Class
Worry:
Yes, preteens have loads of energy, but even they find it challenging to move from class to class on time. The consequence for lateness can be detention. No kid wants to get in trouble because they weren't fast enough!
How to Help:
Reassure your child that they are not alone. Brainstorm ways to streamline the process. What will they do if they're not sure where a particular class is located? Who will they ask for directions (for example, the teacher of their previous class, or their advisor)? Are they good at keeping their books and papers organized? If not, help them clean up the mess so they don't waste precious minutes between classes. And remind them that they'll have to save socializing for lunchtime or after school.
Not Having Friends
Worry:
Jane (name changed) is a 7th grader whose main concern at the start of middle school was making friends. She says she was worried about "the new people I would meet, and not being part of the same group as in elementary school." Middle school can be an especially difficult time for girls, given the rotating nature of girls' friendships, the emergence of queen bees, and the shifting social order.
How to Help:
Try to focus on this time of new beginnings. You might ask, "Do you know anyone from your old school who is going to be there?" If she scoffs at your attempts to identify potentially friendly faces in the crowd, try to identify her fears and put them in perspective. You might say, "You had friends at your old school, what do you imagine might happen that you wouldn't you be able to make friends at the new one?" or "Are you worried that the kids from your elementary school won't want to be friends anymore?" Don't feel like you have to supply a steady stream of solutions. Sometimes it helps kids just to voice their fears to a sympathetic listener.
Being Too Different
Worry:
Nothing is worse for middle schoolers than standing out in a way they haven't chosen, which means anything at the far end of the "normal" curve. For a girl, it could mean being the tallest in the class or the most developed; for a boy, it could mean being the shortest or the clumsiest. At some schools, fashion is the arbiter of all things cool, and middle schoolers (especially girls) live in dread of showing up with the wrong backpack, brand of jeans, or style of shoes.
How to Help:
First, understand that tweens are a stage that marks the beginning of their search for an identity. Whatever it is about your preteen's personality or appearance that concerns her, don't say, "That's silly," or "It doesn't matter." Minimizing her feelings (even with the best of intentions) will only make her feel more alone. Preteens' self-esteem drops during this time, due to a combination of hormonal activity (remember too that puberty is setting in) and brain development. Emphasize the positive as one way of boosting an insecure preteen's confidence. If, for example, a boy is small in stature but fast on the playing field, his parents could coach him to view his size as an asset rather than a liability.
Tough Classes
Worry:
Some kids worry that they won't be able to keep up academically. A child who is nervous about the increased workload may worry that there will be too much reading, or that he got good grades in elementary school not because he was smart, but because the teachers liked him.
How to Help:
There's certainly nothing wrong with acknowledging that the work will be harder (it will be!), but assure your child that it won't be more than they can handle. Remind them that while being a good student is important, they have other strengths as well — perhaps they love to draw, or play soccer — so that their entire sense of self isn't wrapped up in grades. Encourage them to let them teacher —and you — know if they think they need extra help, or if they're falling behind. That way you can take steps to address problems early on, perhaps by having them meet with a teacher after school, or working with a tutor.